The recent multiple suicides of gay teens have upset me badly and have hurt me to my core. It makes me upset to believe that someone can be so cruel to another person, and they do so by dehumanizing them and making them feel less than.
I started to think back to my time in college, high school, middle school, elementary school... all the way back when, and I asked myself if I had ever made someone feel like that. And to be honest, only once during high school did I act like a total "beesh" mean girl to somebody, and I hope to one day tell that person how sorry I truly am. It wasn't anything major like what we are seeing today, but it was mean and unnecessary and I immediately felt ashamed. I'll never know how I made her feel but I hope she knows that I truly felt bad for doing so, and have felt bad ever since. So to Tamara P. who went to JFK High School, Class of 2001 (woot woot) I am sorry for being a jerk to you for that one moment. I hated myself for getting carried away with it and I am truly sorry.
Now what does that have to do with bologna? Lots actually. I was bullied alot in elementary school for being a "Mexican" and a "School girl." I never really resented the school girl part because I was. I was a total brown nosing, abc loving, homework on time, perfect attendance school girl and proud of it. In first grade, I was taunted constantly by two girls, Star and Araceli for being a school girl and for being Mexican. They would constantly make fun of my tin foil
wrapped burrito lunches and because of my name. Teachers would mispronounce my name and these girls would giggle their faces off. Although, looking back, it's not like their names were fantastic either, but for some reason, they made me hate mine. I hated my stupid bean and cheese burrito sack lunches and I hated my "Mexican" name. I came home one extremely upset at my parents for giving me such a stupid name and I told my mother and grandmother, "Ya no me quiero llamar Jazmin! Me quiero llamar Bologna!" (Translation: "I don't want to be called Jazmin! I want to be called Bologna.) Best part is that I pronounced it Ball-logg-nah. Needless to say, they both laughed at me and told me I had a beautiful name and that Balogna was not pretty, in any culture.My dad came home and learned of my determination to change my name and told me that Jazmin is a beautiful flower, and that I shouldn't pay attention to people making fun of my name because they were sad to have plain names like Star and Kelly. That night, my first grade self poured my heart out to my dad as I told him of how they made fun of my burritos and my tin foil wrapping. He told me they would make me sandwiches, but that I would be right back to burritos after I tried one for lunch. Sure enough, I only lasted one day with a sandwich because I thought it was nasty! So I went back to my burritos and I slowly forgot about how those stupid girls made me feel.
As for being a school girl, well hell, that doesn't bother me at all because most of the people who made fun of me for being one are either pregnant with their 8th kid, homeless, unemployed or just plain wack! I know this is mean, but it's really not that far off. I am now on my way to being a successful attorney and life is good. I am still a school girl and if I could do it all over again, I would still be a nerdy school girl!
I probably will not name my kids bologna, but they will have some embarrassing name like Citlali or Atziri because they will be unique little school girls or boys. Like all the videos have said, it does get better.
This was my favorite video by Councilman Joel Burns of Fort Worth, Texas. And all this time I thought Texans didn't have hearts... :) i kid, i kid.
