Apartment Hunting Sucks
Wednesday, November 17, 2010 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 11:15 AM
Yesterday was insane. We went to over 10 different apartments and made the fortunate error of walking into an apartment agency. We signed the fee agreement that charges us only "If" we move into an apartment that they find us. The good thing is that they showed us tons of apartments, the bad thing is that the one we liked we can't afford because of their fee agreement ($2800!!!!). To get an apartment in NYC is like adopting a child from another country. They want your credit score, bank statements, letters of employment, taxes, W2s, and your first born child. Oh, and you must come to the signing table with first and last month's rent AND a security deposit. Throw in there a broker fee and BAM! You've spent $8000 securing an apartment in NYC. Congratulations, you're broke.
As we walked around Hamilton Heights in Harlem, I couldn't help but wonder how the immigrantes do it? I mean, I have a full time, government job, and I still can't afford half of these places! So how bad are they getting screwed over? That's just rent, what about food, clothing, kids, etc! It's nuts! Now, here's the thing too, I knew it was going to be expensive, but I didn't know it was going to be this difficult to find a good apartment.
In the morning we met with a different (no fee) broker who decided it was a great idea to show me an apartment building that was basically a project building. The neighborhood was super sketchy, and the moment we walked in the door, the paramedics were wheeling out an elderly man who had overdosed on something. The broker kept his composure, and turned around and said, "Wait till you see the views!" I couldn't believe it. I didn't care how nice the views were, I wasn't going to stay in this place. To top it all off, the elevator got stuck twice. Once with two very tall angry men, and then a second time with 4 teenagers who were banging on the buttons for the door to open. Priceless. He didn't even acknowledge the shadyness that had just occured.
He then told us he had a second property, and I should have known better but there we went. Following his dumb ass across Harlem to the complete opposite side. All that walking for what? He took us to the largest apartment unit in Harlem. Again, sketchy neighborhood and even sketchier people and this place was HUGE. It was like the Mega Projects. I couldn't help but wonder if he thought this was my thing. Like I was looking to get myself shanked in whatever neighborhood I wanted. Geesh! It was tiring and annoying and disheartening. And the rent was ridiculous! Again, I saw gente, and I just wanted to ask them how they do it.
The good thing about yesterday is that I love Hamilton Heights in Harlem on 145th and Broadway. Bad part is that we can't find apartment there and the one we found is too expensive. I have to call back the Broker and tell him that I'm sorry but that I can't afford to live there or his fee! This makes me nervous because he and his lovely wife spent ALL DAY with us yesterday showing us apartment.
The last couple of days I've learned three things. One, that I must have patience with everything! Patience with myself, the hubs, and with NYC. Two, all the gueras out here look like Ke$ha. I see them and I can't help but start singing "Wake up in the morning feeling like p.diddy..." But oh well. Lastly, you can wake up in the morning and put on yellow tights, rain boots, a purple skirt, green vest and a white button up, and you will look just fine. Nobody stares (like I do) at you, because you, my friend, are stylish in another dimension. :)
Patience, patience, patience.
