The countdown has begun for me to sign up for the NYC Bar exam. Actually, it began on November 1st, 2010 and given all the craziness with the move, I haven't registered for it yet. I am not sure what to do about it since I only have 8 days to register and pay for the exam, and only 8 days to pay $2200 for a Bar examination course.
I think that I am secretly scared of finally taking the bar examination, so I have to take a very strong look at myself and assure myself that I will be prepared and that it will be fine. I have to be honest with myself and acknowledge the fact that I am scared, but that I can get through this, just like I get through everything else in mi vida loca. I hate failing at anything, and this thing has scared me since the inception of law school. Think about it… 20 topics that we must remember and answer semi-correctly so we can practice law. Why? When we practice we use books and collaborations and research, so why would they do this to us? I feel like I have to relearn some of the basic subjects because one of my professors was a total idiot about teaching it correctly.
I am also worried about the stress factor of the preparation because I just moved to a new city, new location for my work, new perspectives, new everything. I am not sure if throwing in a bar prep course and preparing for the bar is going to be the best idea. I don't even have an apartment yet and I don't know how I'll pay for that BARBRI course!
The other side to this is that I would like to get this over with and not take it again, ever. And if I take it in February, and if I fail (yes, I said it) then I can retake it in July. L Not my ideal situation, but still, I have to be realistic about what could happen.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with this J.D. of mine. I think I've come up with a good idea for now. I love what I do now, and I absolutely love where I work. Governors Island is the like the cool creepy location where I've always wanted to be and the people I work with are great. Plus, I earn about what a first year associate makes in NYC, and that makes my heart happy, not to mention the fact that if I stay with the Federal government for the next 5 years, I can pay off my student debt. J Woo Woo. So, this is what I proposed to myself. I will keep my job (if I can) working with the Federal Government, and when I pass the bar, I will take on pro-bono cases from organizations like KIND (kids in need of defense) and immigration cases in the community or other legal non-profit organizations. I feel that this is a safe approach because it makes me happy and I don't have to charge people for my services. I went to law school to be an attorney for the people and with this plan, I can truly make it happen. At least for now, this is what my plan is.
Now I just need to decide if I am taking the stupid bar exam. L ugh.
