I found Great Donuts in New York! 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 3:32 PM
I know this sounds crazy, but really, I was excited for Krisy Kreme until I had too many Krispy Kreme then remembered why I didn't like them in the first place. Too sweet, too much frosting. I am a Winchell's and Lamar's kind of girl. I love chocolate raised donuts, not the cake donuts. Yes, I know donuts... at least basic donuts.

Well, today, when I went to my volunteer gig, they had donuts at the law firm and I usualy never eat their breakfast sweets that are in the conference room, but today I aw the donuts and my heart started palpitating and I got excited because they looked like the donuts from back home. Plus, it was 8:45am and I was starving. So when they asked me if I wanted anything, I politely asked if I could have a donut. They obliged and I went for it. Let's just say that it was delicious and it helped me get through the translation. I learned that the doughnut came from the Doughnut Pub on 14th street and I promise I will visit them... soon... as in tomorrow.

My translation skills were way off today, mostly because I am really tired. Our friends visited us this weekend and we had an absolute blast with them! We saw a lot, ate a lot and walked a lot. Which is what you usually do in NYC. But we also went to bed super late almost every night because we were up chatting or watching movies.

There were some words that I just could not remember and all I could think about was how soon I could get to the doughnut shop and how tired I was. I still translated but it definitely was not succinct and to the point. Same meaning, just a little bit longer explanation. But it worked.

I am going to bed early tonight so I am ready for my first full day at my other volunteer job with the non-profit. With that said, I am off to read a little bit, then go to sleep. Have a great day peeps!


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Bill Maher Depressed me tonight 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 7:11 PM
I love Bill Maher, as much as the next die hard realist liberal does.

I especially liked his commentary on Obama because he seemed to capture how I feel about him. He summed it up to this:

"Obama is like the boyfriend that you just got into a really big fight with, you still love him, but you know it's over, but you can't leave him because he's the best you're going to do at this point."

Or something like that. Obama and I are having a love-hate relationship this year, mostly been on the "Dislike" side of things, but I guess that's neither here nor there.

More than anything, the commentary basically summed up what the hubs and I have been talking about. The end of capitalism as we know it, and the mess that is yet to come for our generation. Now, you're probably wondering why I'm talking about politics on this blog, but it's not so much about the politics. It's about finances and job security in the coming years. I think life is going to be much different for us than what our parents had.

I've heard that our 30's is when we climb professionally, 40's we make money, and 50's we are still working and praying for our 60's to come so we can go travel the world. But, I don't know if that model will be the same anymore and that worries me. Granted, I also wanted to be making money by the time I was 30, but given my unemployment status, I doubt that's going to happen. Doesn't mean I'll stop trying, but it was basically affirmed tonight on Bill Maher, therefore my fears are real.

I know it's not always going to feel this way (or at least I hope it doesn't) but when are things going to get better for people? I feel like the American government finally felt like we do when we are all trying to figure out which bill to pay and which bill or utility to cut.

Anyways, this was a true random rambling, but I just had to put it out there. This is my cucuy, this is my boogie man. I don't want to be 35, unemployed lawyer, with no savings.

On another interesting note, this economy is creating a change in our generation as to how we create families. Many people in their late 20s or early 30s are opting out for adoption instead of having kids. I have two friends who are looking into adoption, and I find it so interesting and lovely. I don't know if we'll adopt (maybe so? i dunno?) but I know I need a few to call my own perhaps. Or maybe I already have a few out there? Just kidding! :)

Have a great day!


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Do-er by day, Dreamer by night! 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 10:59 AM
My creative tentacles are everywhere! Good lord!

It's like the Bar put a total mental block on any creative juices or flows I had in my brain, and understandably so. I guess the bar examiners wouldn't want me to respond to their essay questions with a sense of humor and creative freedom. (Similar to these answers on exams.)

But alas, these answers will probably not allow me to pass the NY Bar exam, and I hope that in the furry of typing as fast as I could, I did not write a dumb answer. Anyways, it's done, let's move on.

Yesterday the hubs came home from San Jose, after a grueling 12 hour red-eye flight with 6 teenagers. His flight was cancelled and they had quite the adventure trying to figure out how to get home and pass the time. Lucky for them, their hotel was a mile away from a theme park, so they went crazy on roller coasters until they had to catch their late night flight.

He came home and slept most of the day, and when he woke up, we caught up on the week and then we headed out to grab a quick & cheap bite to eat and a nice Chinese massage for him. Now, I know what you're thinking, but it's not "those kind" of massages. In NYC, there are places that do Qi Gong Tui Na massages. They are relatively cheap and these women get to work on your back! It's only $45 for one hour of the most intense and delicious massages you've ever had. They waste no time and get to work on your trouble spots! I went there a week before the bar and they were fabulous.

I had to warn my husband that this place looks like you might be kidnapped and sexually trafficked if you go behind the private curtains. All the ladies who work there whisper to you and the lights are dim and the place is warm. I told him not to panic when they tell him to strip down to his underwear and to not use the sheath cloth on the table to cover himself. I tried to cover myself when I went with the weird sheath material, and the little lady next to me quickly looked over my curtain and told me to "SHHH!!!" and then scolded me for laying under the sheath material. I felt dumb and a little scared, but what followed was one of the best massages of my life, even if I thought I was about to get trafficked or sexually assaulted, I loved it and I knew immediately that I had to take the hubs there.

So he went in, I didn't go in because we are on a tight budget, and instead I went to eat a cupcake. Yes, I had to do something while I waited. He had an hour massage and when I saw him again, he looked as cool as a cucumber and affirmed that it was the best massage he has ever received! They spent a half an hour on his legs and feet alone!! Amazing, I love it!

The first time I went there, I also worried that the women giving me a backrub were somehow slaves to this business, but I went late and as I left, all the women left as well giggling and laughing and went next door to eat. So, I figured, ok, they are not here against their will. :) I know it's weird, but I have to think these thoughts!

This week will be busy, I have a few projects that I am working on and I need to get them down on paper and start hashing out the details for each one. I also have an article due for Being Latino and we have guests this weekend from Denver. It's a busy week and I am enjoying my unemployed status. I am a bit stressed sometimes, but I have to believe that this will all work out. One of my problems is that I think I get my best ideas when I can't sleep, so I need to get up and write them down or work on them. But then I end up going to bed at 3 or 4am and that can't be healthy. So I need to change that this week.

Anyways, have a beautiful week folks!


1 comments

I am... 

Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 12:14 AM

From the incomparable Jason Mraz... I find it to be so true at this moment in my life. Enjoy!


Anything you write after I am is simply a concept. So choose what comes after it carefully.

I am successful. I am fulfilled. I am an astronaut. I am amazing. I am late. I am in trouble. I am enlightened. I am yours. Etc.

Anything after I am will only give you power if you worship it. For example, fulfillment doesn’t exist outside the body. You are who decides if you are fulfilled or not. Saying I am fulfilled is a start, but it is the practice and devotion to that affirmation that amplifies it.

For weeks this spring I was devoted to I am sad. I am wrong. I am incomplete. I am not fully expressed. And while none of those things are true unless I believe them to be, my resistance to being love only brought more pain and lethargy.

Finally, with a little help from my friends, classical music, cleansing, exercise, acceptance, and lots of prayer, that which shifts all thoughts back to love, I can finally say I’m on a much clearer path to health and happiness.

I am healthy.
I am happiness.
I am alive.
I am.

It was a close call too. I don’t think I’d ever been as deep in the storm before. I am grateful for treading in such dark waters and I’m committed to never going back.

No healer has ever healed without having healed himself first. No believer has ever believed as strongly without first testing his beliefs. And no lover has truly loved without having loved another and let go.

I’m not afraid to let go anymore. If it looks to others like I did something wrong, made bad choices, acted selfishly, or fearful, then so what. I can say, to you I am wrong. I am selfish. etc. Big deal. Stick and stones may break my bones but I choose not to give those thoughts a home. When I am sad I will simply be grateful for the sadness as it is a gift, a miracle in fact, to experience this powerful emotion, trusting the pendulum swings both ways; embracing all of life in it's awkward perfection. I would never tattoo ‘I am sad’ on my body so why would I dwell on it in the mind? I am awesome, however, will make a great tattoo.

I am honored.
I am humbled.
I am happy.
I am

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Sooo... Tirreeeddd 

Thursday, August 4, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 10:45 PM
Or maybe I'm just lazy... I'm not sure.

I've been waking up so late this week, but I've been having problems sleeping. I think my brain was so used to working hard and being tired at the end of the day that now it has no idea what to do with all that free space.

I didn't get any of the positions or fellowships that I applied to from May-July. The one fellowship that I really wanted was an Equal Justice fellowship with a women's rights organization that assists immigrant victims of domestic violence, The new fellowship would assist victims of domestic violence who would now possibly be eligible for residency by applying for a U visa. The organization is attempting to expand their services to various areas of immigration law that affect women, especially immigrant and migrant women. So, needless to say, it was a phenomenal organization and I really wanted to be a part of it. But, I interviewed for them, a week before the bar, and I can honestly say it was not my best interview (because my brain was fried) and I was tired. Yes, I am an idiot for interviewing a week before the bar, but hey, I applied, they called, I went.

But, in retrospect, I am not upset and I realized that I need to spend more time getting to know other organizations in NYC. I will spend the next couple of weeks volunteering my time with a few immigrant rights and public interest organizations in NYC. I realized that I have not had the opportunity to show my commitment and my passion with these organizations. I also realized that I am competing with the best of the best and attorneys who have been laid off and are now applying for the same damn jobs that I am applying to. Damn them! So, I need to step up my game!! And I am ready for that.

I think that is what NYC is about... a lot of hard work, patience, perseverance and passion.

I spent half of my day yesterday sending volunteer emails to various organizations and I also responded to the rejection email I received from the women's right organization. I asked if I could volunteer with them, and she loved my "gracious" email and offered me a volunteer in house counsel position! :) Yes, it's a volunteer position, but the fact that she called "counsel" made me smile and made my day. I had to decline it because I am not licensed yet, but she said I could still do it once I pass the bar. In the meantime, I will be doing client intake on Thursdays from 10-2 and I will have some in house cases that I will take on as well.

I will also be volunteering with an immigrant rights organization either in Queens or Brooklyn. I am not sure which location yet.

Today, after sitting on my couch and responding to emails, phone calls, for 5 hours, I decided I would get out of my house and go to the public pool at Central Park. Mind you, I decided to leave my house at 5pm! Little did I know that it wasn't super hot outside (probably because it was 5pm) and that it was about to rain. I decided I would risk the rain anyway and still go to the park because I didn't want to waste the whole day at home. What I really wanted to do was go to the beach, but I am still recovering from Shark Week shows on the Discovery channel, so I can't go yet. Maybe on Saturday I'll go to the beach.

You should be happy to know that I learned how to cook new things this week. I've also decided that if I don't have a job, I should learn how to cook new things. I realized that the only things that I cook are usually mole, caldos, and anything that has cheese, potatoes and squash. Oh and enchiladas. So I cooked gigantic cheeseburgers with homemade onion rings on Monday, Oven fried chicken and mashed potatoes on Tuesday, Enchiladas on Wednesday and today I had leftovers. By leftovers I mean the entire bowl of mashed potatoes that I made Tuesday. I love mashed potatoes, but I ate way too much of them tonight.

The hubs is in San Jose, California (yes, he's gone again!) and he gets to meet the Black Eyed Peas again. Man, he has a hard life.

That's the update for now, I'll be writing more now that I am catching up with life and finally resting.

We have guests for the next 3 weeks straight! CRAZY! But it should be exciting and fun... right? :D

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Friday, July 29, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 10:03 AM
someecards.com - Hopefully two miserable days of taking the bar exam results in several torturous decades of being overworked

I am done!!!

Thank goodness that fresh hell is done with.

I feel "fine." I can' say I feel great, and I can't say I feel bad. I feel "ok" and I think that's the best way to describe it. The essays were exactly how I was hoping they would be, I ran a little behind time so i didn't get a chance to go further in depth on one topic, but I described it and analyzed it as fast and tedious as I could. :)

All in all, I am done and now I can have a lazy summer or of what remains of it at least. I've been sleeping the last two days and I didn't realize I was so tired! The hubs was amazingly supportive and I am always amazed at his generosity, kindness, encouragement and his keen sense and ability to always keep me calm. I love it and I love him mucho.

Now, we wait until November. Yes, 4 months away and I'm pretty sure the results come out the day of or before my birthday, so it will either be a really great birthday or a not so great birthday. Either way, we will drink tequila that night (advice from my law wife).

So, I am done, thank you all for the well wishes, love, patience, generosity, kindness, good energy, vibes, etc!

Congratulations to all my bar friends as well! We did it! it's done!

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It's Time! 

Monday, July 25, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 7:15 PM
The big day is finally here!

Wishing all of the bar exam takers in the U.S. good luck, light, energy, love, patience, serenity, wisdom, clarity and knowledge!

It's been a long time coming, and we're almost there. Dale duro! Adelante!



Thank you all for the well wishes and positive energy!

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10 days 

Friday, July 15, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 12:51 PM



Holy hell, this fresh hell is almost over. 10 days and counting. It all seems to be flying by and the days no longer make sense. lol. I don't know what day it is, EVER, and I go into the law school in the morning and leave at midnight wondering what the hell happened to the last 12 hours of my day!

Yesterday was my first big defeat on myself. For some reason, I felt fine, and out of nowhere, I felt like I got hit by a giant dumptruck full of doubt and a sense of impossibility. I had been working on a few essays and I got frustrated because I couldn't remember basic rules and I wasn't articulating them in my writing. I got upset that one task seems to take me 3-4 hours and I felt like I wasn't being productive.

Then I started thinking of all the things I still had left to review in 10 days and how much I still had to memorize and all of sudden I was in tears. I decided that I was done for the night, needed to sleep and get back on it tomorrow. I decided to let myself feel miserable at that moment, to embrace it, sleep on it, then wake up and move on.

I haven't been sleeping well, so some nights I get 4 hours of sleep some nights I get 5. So I believe that plays a factor. I slept well last night, slept in a little then decided I would swim before I started studying to clear my body and mind. But THANK YOU HARLEM RIVERSIDE PARK for selling me A STUPID SWIM PASS that can only be used in the buttcrack of dawn or 6-8:30pm. You can't come in for open swim, you have to pay extra. WHO DOES THAT?? WHY WOULD THAT MAKE SENSE? I JUST PAID $30 TO SWIM!

Yes, this was my demeanor, and I was nicely and promptly escorted from the pool premises and didn't get to swim. :) Yup. I lost it. I had to. I know it's probably not their fault, but seriously... I just paid you $30 for a lap swim pass and you want to charge me to enter to swim, again? Really? I love Harlem, but it's inefficiency kills me.

I also miss my hubs, he's been gone for a week and I feel lonelier than ever in NYC. :( He's learning so many amazing things and I know he's going to come back refreshed and feeling alive to start working on his life mission... whatever that might be upon his return. lol :)

Anyways... 10 more days, I will keep pushing on. I know this will be my greatest battle and I have no plans on coming back this way again. :) Good luck to the rest of the bar takers. Give it hell.


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My brain is fried 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 7:11 PM


Today sucked. But it was worth it.

We had our first practice test for Barbri-- 8 hours of madness.

I survived, I never panicked (except for lunchtime) and all is well.

The place is huge, but I am glad I received the opportunity to see it before test day. It's the convention center and it's not horrible. It is freezing and I will need my earplugs, but I figured that much anyway.

Bad news is that I didn't do as well as I wanted to. 78/200. But that's ok, I received a 4/5 on my essays. Yes! I know EXACTLY why I didn't do well on the Multistate portion (78/200) and I have 22 days to correct it. All is well and I feel good.

I doubted myself a little, and I worried about myself. I took a teenie study break this weekend and slept in, went to the beach and ate amazing food. But I think it's exactly what I needed and I am no longer scared.

Bring it on.

Now to sleep.

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One Month! 

Sunday, June 26, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 7:42 PM



Today, I am officially ONE MONTH away from the New York State bar exam!

30 days for the final prep, 31 days, it will be over (i hope).

This was a good study week, next week will be even better. Today was an "ok" study day. I woke up late, tired, did some laundry (to avoid studying) then finally studied. This will be an intense study week, so I figured I'd go a little easy today.

The hubs is away for our friends wedding and finally comes home tomorrow. I was skyped into the wedding ceremony yesterday so that I could watch them get married. It made my day and I was happy to "sorta" be a part of it.

Yesterday was a good day, Mexico won the Gold Cup, some friends came over to watch, and I got a haircut. :) Good day indeed.

I hope to have a good week ahead and I hope everyone has a good week too.

Find something to be grateful for each day, and carry on. Life is too short to be upset about the needless and pointless things in your life. Focus on the good, fix the bad, and carry on.

If you need a pick-me-upper listen to your favorite song to bring you back on track. This is one of mine. Enjoy.

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My Best Friend is Amazing 

Saturday, June 25, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 8:43 PM
"May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand. May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace. May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending"-Anon

I posted the quote on my best friend's facebook the other day, and I'm sure it was difficult to understand. I am the eternal optimist, but even in this moment, I had to ask myself, why her? why them? Why?

Life is not easy, and it's not always fair. Things will happen to us that we cannot explain, but out of that madness a lesson is learned. For as difficult as that moment is for us, we come out a stronger and better person. (Unless you're Anthony Weiner, then the lesson is don't be a pervert.)

This post is for my moon and my stars, my puma, my bestie. She is facing one of the most difficult moments in her life and I can't be there to make her laugh or hug her through this and that sucks. I knew the moment I saw her (Fall of 2002) that I needed to be friends with her. I don't know why, but I had to. I annoyed her everyday and she finally gave in and loved me back. We became sorority sisters and we've been best friends ever since. She didn't have a choice because once I make my mind up, nothing stops me.

So, I guess, what I am trying to say is that we don't always see the sunshine, but you have to know and trust that it will come and it is there. One way or another, it will be ok. It has to be. We adjust and address these obstacles with a smile and an open mind and with the love and support from all the people who love you. You're never alone in these battles, your soldiers are behind you to catch you when you fall and to let you rest when you too tired to carry on the weary fight.

Stay positive and know that life is amazing. And you know what, one lesson my friends have taught me is that we don't always have to be super warriors in life. It's ok to NOT be OK. Take a break, you've done all you could today. Tomorrow is another day. Face it however you want to, but don't give up. Love you lovebug.



1 comments

DANGER... This could kill you 

Friday, June 24, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 7:38 PM


Almost a month away from the Bar, and I am already over it. :)

I kid, I kid. I am taking a great class this week on how to write effective NY Bar essays. The lady is a wonderful teacher, and although you feel like she secretly hates you, she is a kind and brilliant little old lady and I really appreciate her. My favorite part about the class is when you raise your hand to ask her a question, she replies with "Not now Misses Sanchez" referring to me. She does it to everyone who raises their hand, but she calls me Misses Sanchez and I don't want to correct her because I feel bad and the class laughs every time.

On Wednesday, I had a difficult time paying attention in class (9:00-5:00pm) because I didn't sleep the night before, and by not sleeping, I literally mean, not a single wink, not 15 minutes, not 30 minutes. I watched the hours go by then got out of bed and got ready at 7:30am. Awesome. Well, I bought a 5 hour- Extra Strength energy shot a couple of weeks ago, and kept it in my backpack, just in case of an emergency. At this moment, it is important to note that I stopped drinking strong caffeinated drinks my first year of law school because it hurt my stomach. Prior to that, I worked at a coffee shop as a barista and would take single shot or 4 shot espresso mochas like it was my job to. (I guess it kinda was my job to.) So the most caffeine I ever drink is green tea, maybe, once a month, I'll have a small cup of coffee.

Anyway, I was really dragging on Wednesday and decided that this was a good a moment as ever to break open the 5-hour energy drink. Aside from being sensitive to caffeine, I also had only eaten one tiny granola bar for breakfast. So, with an empty stomach, I chugged the entire energy shot and waited anxiously for some energy to focus and pay attention. At about 10am, I started to feel super excited and was happy that finally, the energy I needed was here. By 10:30am I had to get up and go to the hallway because I couldn't stop shaking in my seat and I felt like I needed to go for a marathon run. I figured this is what I was waiting for, and went back to class. I sat there like Judy Grimes (video below). I felt like I every time I recited a rule of law, I must have sounded like her to the rest of the class.



By 11:30am, my stomach was so nauseous that I thought I was going to vomit at any moment! I felt light headed and was just looking at my clock waiting for 12:30 to come so that I could eat something!! I knew if I didn't eat something soon, I would literally pass out. I felt like my blood sugar levels were super low and would cause me to pass out. As soon as lunch hit, I ran out and ate my lunch. Unfortunately for me, all I had for lunch was two hard boiled eggs, the remaining granola bar and some pretzels. I didn't have my regular lunch because we didn't get a chance to go grocery shopping so that's all I had to eat! I felt "ok" after the first egg, but the second one grossed me out, but I still ate it, then the granola bar, then I stuffed my face with pretzels as fast as I could. Nope, food didn't help either. I sat there with my head between my legs trying as hard I could to get my heart rate to slow down. It was beating so fast that I couldn't keep up with it when I tried to count it.

I knew it wasn't a good idea to stay, but I wobbled back into class and told one of the students that I needed his help and asked him to please send me the notes for the remainder of the class, in case I left. He thought I'd be fine, so I sat back down and put my head on the desk. Another student came in and said I looked awful. I explained to her what I did, and she then handed me her trail mix. I hate trail mix, but I knew I needed to get more food in my stomach. The other guy next to me said that you don't drink the whole energy shot, you only take half and wait. It was too late for that. I drank the whole thing.

By now, I was still shaking but now I was pale and still light headed. The teacher came back in and told me to wait it out and to go to the hallway if I felt sick. Halfway through the second half of class, I had to get up and go to the bathroom again, but this time, I knew I was going to throw up. I was right. I didn't make it to the bathroom, I had to throw up in a trashcan right outside the bathroom. I don't think I can eat hard boiled eggs again. Gross. I sat in the hallway and again tried to calm down my heart rate by breathing, because I was pretty sure I was going to die. It didn't work. (Please note, no matter how many yoga classes or meditation techniques you know, you cannot calm your heart-rate when it's stimulated by crack.)

After that, I decided I had enough, so at the next break, I gathered my things, apologized to the professor and left. I stumbled into the subway, got on the train and again, put my head between my legs again and waited for my stop. I rolled out of the subway, and made it home. I came in, ate some cold chicken and beans and laid down. At some point, I fell asleep and when I woke up, my heart rate had finally calmed down and I knew I wasn't dead.

I don't think I will ever, EVER, again take that stupid 5-hour energy drink because I might die. If you ever take it, please know that it might be good if you are running from New York to Philadelphia. DO NOT use it if you are going to sit down for an 8 hour class. Lesson learned.

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Aww Poop! 

Thursday, June 16, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 10:25 AM


I'm not going to lie... this week has been somewhat difficult. I am now almost in my 4th week of Bar Review and I am finding it a little bit more difficult to stay calm and organized everyday. I have to remind myself more and more to stay calm and focused. I am studying at the law school now instead of home because that way I don't take a nap when I get sleepy. I haven't been sleeping well because my mind won't shut off. I find myself analyzing and trying to solve hypos at 3 and 4 am.

I think this is really affecting me and that is why I am so tired and not focusing this week. I am going to make a stronger effort to debrief, wind down and go to bed earlier and I am also going to include some daily exercise.

I think it's all just starting to feel so daunting, the idea that we have to know all this and be able to apply it at the drop of a hat. I feel anxious sometimes but without really being able to identify the exact reason to my feelings.

This morning was rough, I woke up a bit late (from not sleeping well again) and finished an essay then fought with my printer because it wouldn't print my essay. (Husband to the rescue). I grabbed my bags and books and flew out the door. I was about down about half the block and was fumbling through my binder to make sure I brought my essay, then I felt the my foot hit something soft, wet and squishy. I looked down and there, below my SANDAL was a gigantic pile of dog poop. Fantastic. I just about vomitted right there and there by how disgusting it all was. So, I did what every normal girl would do who was stressed beyond crazy, and started crying. I don't know why I cried, it just seemed like a good idea at that moment. So I cried, and turned around to clean my foot (yes foot) and my sandals. I walked back limping to the apartment in the weirdest walk of shame of my life.

I got in the shower, rinsed off my sandals, my feet, and cried a little bit more. I was debating about skipping lecture, because at this point, I'm a half hour late, but I somehow came to the conclusion that if I skipped lecture two things would happen 1) Sarah Palin, Alabama and Arizona would have won the day and 2) I would fall behind. I didn't want to be defeated so easily so, I put different shoes on then ran out again. Take 2.

Lecture was fine, and now I am eating a banana and nutella crepe and a coffee shop taking a quick breather before my intense study day begins. I am determined to feel accomplished tonight before I go home. I keep telling myself that nothing worth having or doing in life is easy, and thus, I must keep working hard. After all, It's only for another 39 days, 954 hours and 57255 minutes... but who's counting right? ;)

Lastly, we went to go see John Leguizamos Ghetto Klown show on Broadway last night with a good friend, and it was amazing!! We bought rush tickets for $26 and it was well worth the study break and perfect timing. His show discusses the adversity he has faced as a Latino actor and the fact that he never gave up and kept going, regardless of how difficult things got for him. It was about owning your talent and fighting for what you are worth. So... Armand, Yadira and I found this to be serendipitous since we were just talking about these ideas during dinner. He came out after the show to sign autographs for people and was incredibly nice and short. :)

I hope all is well wherever you are. I'll be back soon. :) I leave you with this video which accurately depicts the feelings of how I feel about law school.


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Love Exists.... 

Monday, June 13, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 10:18 AM


To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.-- :)


This week I celebrate my 2 year wedding anniversary to that crazy husband of mine!

It's funny because we celebrate two years of being married by 11 years of being together. I have been blessed to have such an incredible friend to support me through my celebrations and challenges. He's been there every step of the way and has made me a better and stronger person because of it. I hope that everyone has someone in their life like this. Friend, husband, family, etc. because it makes all the difference in the world.

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Week 3 of the Bar... Still Alive 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 5:28 PM


I've made it to week 3 of the bar, and I think everything is going well, at least for now. I'm hoping that by next week the Colorado Unemployment office corrects their mistake on my last paycheck... a whopping $140.00, and provides me with the backpay that they forgot from my last check. If you want to know how you can spend 91 minutes of your day, try calling the unemployment hotline in Denver. It's fantastic, they make you wait 91 minutes, then they hang up on you, you call back and all you can use is a self-help call center, then you try a different line (which they recommend) and that number actually doesn't function. Ah yes, it's our tax payer dollars at work.

It's incredibly hot right now in NYC, we hit 95 degrees today and I thought I was going to pass out. If you want to know what that feels like, punch a hole in a large black plastic trash bag so that your head fits through it, then enter a sauna and wait. That's what it feel like. You sweat everywhere and the smell of the trash on the street heating up in my neighborhood is pretty disgusting. I played leap frog today as I went from one store to another, just to cool off and get out of the heat!

This week is a bit more intense with bar prep, and it's all starting to come together a little bit more as to how different areas of law are going to interact. It's daunting to think that I need to try and remember these things, but at the same time, I try to incorporate my notes, lectures and what I am learning every day so that I don't forget it.

My lovely friends in Denver and California both sent me a great book that I use everyday and I find it calming and it allows me to focus. Just when I feel overwhelmed and stressed to the point where I want to punch myself in the face for going to law school, I remember why I went in the first place and read a passage from this book. My friend in NYC believes it's "very Colorado" of me.

Yesterday was a particularly overwhelming day because I missed a lecture (from not sleeping the night before) and because I couldn't seem to get myself together. I was so tired and just couldn't function. I watched the lecture I missed, took my notes, then meditated and did some yoga to clear my mind. I ended up going to bed early and not studying anymore because I was too frustrated, and honestly, just too tired to even concentrate.

Today was a better day, I was still tired, but at least I was determined and eager to get started on my studying. I actually really enjoy studying. I like being by myself in my element preparing for this challenge. Anyway, after class I had to go to Governors Island to drop off my keys and some documents and during class I had made note cards to memorize the law from today's lecture. If I know I have to commute, I take my flash cards so that I am constantly studying. Well, when I got on the train, it was packed and there was no where to sit. I stood for about two stops, then finally a space opened up and I sat down.

I sat down to this larger, African American woman who had a really nice designer handbag. I specifically remember her handbag because I stared at it when I got on because I was trying to see who the designer was. (Dianne Von Furstenburg-- I think) Anyway, I sat there focusing on memorizing the rules for Agency and I could tell this woman was staring at me and my notes and I thought, "what a metiche!" She then tapped my shoulder (because my eyes were closed) and she asked if I was a law student. I told her I was and was preparing for the bar. She said, "Yes I can tell. I can see you studying. If I can make one suggestion, I'd like to remind you that this is just an exam. On days that you want to quit, remember why you are doing this in the first place and be calm. You know yourself better than anyone else, trust yourself because you can do this." I thanked her with a big cheesy smile and I found out that she is an attorney. She passed the NY Bar in 2006 on her first try. She told me she only studied for 5 hours a day, but that was because she was intense for 5 hours and then practiced. She gave me some great advice, and more than anything, she reminded me to know myself and trust myself as I go through this process because it is just a test. She said the NY Bar isn't as difficult as they say it is, it's a matter of keeping calm and carrying on, and knowing the law as best as I can.

Before I could ask her for her card, she was up on off on the next stop. For some reason, she calmed me down and made me feel good about this process. So, with that conversation, I am literally staying calm and carrying on as best as I can. Everyday I work hard (except yesterday), and I know that somedays will be better than others. I am ok with that.

I hope you are all having a great week! Summer is here!

xo-
Jaz

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And so it begins 

Tuesday, May 31, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 4:15 PM
Hello peeps!

So, week 2 of Bar studying and so far... it's not horrible, but it's not great.

I have class everyday from 9-1pm then I take a break, eat lunch, and get back on it until about 6pm. Depending on the assignments, I will either study more after dinner or try to go to bed.

It's hard trying to find the best study schedule, but I think I am doing OK for now. I think it will be much more time consuming as I get into more subjects. Lucky for me, I have 22 more subjects to learn out of 25. Excellent. Just when I start to feel sorry for myself, I think of my poor friends taking the California bar. They have a 3 day bar, mine is only 2.

I am waiting for my UI benefits to kick in as well. It has me nervous and I try not to think about, but I can't help but worry every now and then.

The good thing is that I am remembering more the law than I thought of would, and now I need to practice memorizing and applying it for the essays. I've been working more and more on MC but I'm still not where I'd like to be in answering questions. I hope this is just because it's my first quizzes in a year, and I assume that I will get better.

I will keep you posted as I progress. Thank you all for the positive energy. Keep it coming, it's definitely needed.

xo
Jaz

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And... We Survived the Rapture! 

Monday, May 23, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 10:43 AM
someecards.com - I predict the people who predict the Rapture will never get any better at math


Thank the heavens! We survived! I was pretty sure NYC would be hit first, with all the crazy that is walking around here, but nope. We all survived. I'm not going to lie though, I worried for a little bit when dark ominous looking clouds appeared out of nowhere while I was at a farmers market at Union Station. But then, it just rained. Nothing happened. I was relieved and ran home so that in case it did happen, I would be with my husband, wrapped in the fetal position, embracing like the old couple on titanic. On my way home, an older gentleman peed his pants as he sat next to me, and all I could think of was the idea that I probably sat in a puddle of pee and didn't even realize it. But when he stood up, I could see his bottom was completely soaked and he left a neat little puddle on the seat. Ah, yes, I am back in New York.

I am sorry I have not blogged in almost a week, but last week was hectic and the next 10 weeks are about to get a little bit worse everyday. I will officially start my bar preparation tomorrow at 8am. And by 8am, I mean I will roll out of bed, do yoga, eat breakfast, and start studying. My official class starts on Thursday, but I have assignments that I need to complete before then.

I am excited, nervous, anxious and scared. Which all translates to me having anxiety attacks and leaving the house to buy eight different types of cheese. (True Story). But I recover and realize that everyone must feel like this and that life will be fine. I am excited because this is the last and final chapter of law school madness. I can't wait to become an actual "professional" and start helping people. I've wanted to be a lawyer since high school, and now, it's time to prove it. I know it won't be easy, but I love challenges and I know this stuff (except for transactions, wills & estates and torts, because I never learned those subjects). But I will learn it again and master those subjects.

The hubs and I decided this weekend that I would also get an additional tutor to help me with my writing. I met an attorney on Saturday who told me that I MUST hire Dr. Mary Gallagher for essays because she was the only reason he passed. Then another friend of mine, who just passed the bar in February, also told me about her too and claimed that she was the reason she passed the bar the second time, as well. And finally, on Saturday, while I was at the farmer's market, a nice looking fortune teller lady, told me that apparently one of my guardian spirits yelled "ESSAYS!" to her and that they thought I needed to get more help on my essays. So.... we decided the whole universe was conspiring to send me a message and I will hire her for help with my essays. The down part is that it's going to cost us more, but we feel it is worth it. That's why I love my husband, because he supports me and all my craziness and loves me unconditionally. Couldn't ask for a better partner in my life.

I had to talk to him this weekend about what the bar study schedule was about to do to our relationship, and I asked him what he needed from me as I prepared. More than anything he said to not start fights (because sometimes I do that for fun) and to communicate. He always cares about how I'm doing, and he wants me to check in with him, regardless of the emotion that is taking over me at that time. Easy enough. We've been through worse, so this doesn't worry me. I know people who will completely separate from their loved one for 3 months, but I think that's a bit nutty, but hey, to each their own.

I will keep you posted on what I am feeling and doing, but I will not be posting as often, and I apologize for that, but I have to focus and not allow random distractions. I don't consider my blog a distraction, and I will post as much as possible. You've been with me throughout the entire journey, and now you will follow my bar prep, and you will get to wait the anxious reply as to whether I do or don't pass the bar.

I still have some preparation to do today, so I will leave you for now.

I hope you all have an amazing week!

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Finally Home 

Sunday, May 15, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 8:33 PM
After a crazy 12 days of traveling from NYC-->DC-->Denver-->Cancun-->Playa del Carmen-->NYC, I am happy to say I am finally home.

Weird how NYC feels like a "home" now.

I'll tell you more about our adventures this week, but for now I need to rest up for a crazy week full of running around and bar prepping my home! AH!

On a great note, my law wifey (best friend) Nicol Marquez, Esq. just passed the California Bar!! She was always afraid she wouldn't pass and she proved herself wrong! I always believed she would and it made me cry today to know that she passed!

In a weird and ironic way, it makes me that much more excited to prep for the bar. Let's get it over with. :)

Have a great week everyone!
Jaz

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Nice Girls Finish Last 

Thursday, April 28, 2011 - Posted by Intellectual Elegance at 6:01 PM
"If you never chase your dreams, you'll never catch them"

I hope that one day I can look back at a day like today and say, "that was the moment that I knew I had to change my ways" or "from that day on, I never did that again."

I will not be attending the White House dinner after all, which is fine by me. I get it. Limited invitations, no tickets, etc. I understand. But what I can't seem to comprehend is how other "staff" will get to attend the White House briefing event, and I have to stay outside, while the entire team, except for me, gets to do nothing and head back to the hotel.

Plans changed today and now 2 additional staffers will assist with the White House briefing. I get to sit on a bus. Today was the last straw for me and I had to speak with my Director to ask him if I could at least attend the White House briefing. I will not get to see the Commission or the rest of the staff after that event. I told him that I've worked really hard on the project and that I will not be with the Commission or staff when they receive their certificates. I was professional and calm and I hope he will consider asking for permission to have me attend the White House briefing. I have to imagine that he can, if he was able to get the two additional staffers there. Again, I am not asking for recognition or acknowledgments or rewards. I want to to attend to finish out the project correctly and to say goodbye to everyone.

I learned today that I can no longer be such a hard worker without advocating for myself and for my needs and for what I believe in. I felt incredibly disheartened and upset by his announcement this afternoon and I didn't cry, because I knew that would get me no where, but I can't describe the pain I felt in my heart.

I've always been a hard worker and a team player, and my hard work on this project has always been so that the team can move ahead and so the Report and the Commission look as fantastic as possible. I work tirelessly so that it all appears to be flawless. I am 10 steps ahead of the process and at the same time, cleaning up after everyone and everything. I'm a team player, I always will be, but from here on out, I will stand up for myself and for what I deserve.

Nice girls finish last, and I refuse to finish last ever again. The last time I finished last, I was in 5th grade and it was during field day. I will not allow today to be another one of those days or moments in my life.

Even if nothing comes out of this, I stood up for myself.

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