I am done!!!

Thank goodness that fresh hell is done with.

I feel "fine." I can' say I feel great, and I can't say I feel bad. I feel "ok" and I think that's the best way to describe it. The essays were exactly how I was hoping they would be, I ran a little behind time so i didn't get a chance to go further in depth on one topic, but I described it and analyzed it as fast and tedious as I could. :)

All in all, I am done and now I can have a lazy summer or of what remains of it at least. I've been sleeping the last two days and I didn't realize I was so tired! The hubs was amazingly supportive and I am always amazed at his generosity, kindness, encouragement and his keen sense and ability to always keep me calm. I love it and I love him mucho.

Now, we wait until November. Yes, 4 months away and I'm pretty sure the results come out the day of or before my birthday, so it will either be a really great birthday or a not so great birthday. Either way, we will drink tequila that night (advice from my law wife).

So, I am done, thank you all for the well wishes, love, patience, generosity, kindness, good energy, vibes, etc!

Congratulations to all my bar friends as well! We did it! it's done!

The big day is finally here!

Wishing all of the bar exam takers in the U.S. good luck, light, energy, love, patience, serenity, wisdom, clarity and knowledge!

It's been a long time coming, and we're almost there. Dale duro! Adelante!



Thank you all for the well wishes and positive energy!

Almost there! One week! WOOO HOOOOO!!!

To all the bar takers: We can do this! Si Se Puede!

Holy hell, this fresh hell is almost over. 10 days and counting. It all seems to be flying by and the days no longer make sense. lol. I don't know what day it is, EVER, and I go into the law school in the morning and leave at midnight wondering what the hell happened to the last 12 hours of my day!

Yesterday was my first big defeat on myself. For some reason, I felt fine, and out of nowhere, I felt like I got hit by a giant dumptruck full of doubt and a sense of impossibility. I had been working on a few essays and I got frustrated because I couldn't remember basic rules and I wasn't articulating them in my writing. I got upset that one task seems to take me 3-4 hours and I felt like I wasn't being productive.

Then I started thinking of all the things I still had left to review in 10 days and how much I still had to memorize and all of sudden I was in tears. I decided that I was done for the night, needed to sleep and get back on it tomorrow. I decided to let myself feel miserable at that moment, to embrace it, sleep on it, then wake up and move on.

I haven't been sleeping well, so some nights I get 4 hours of sleep some nights I get 5. So I believe that plays a factor. I slept well last night, slept in a little then decided I would swim before I started studying to clear my body and mind. But THANK YOU HARLEM RIVERSIDE PARK for selling me A STUPID SWIM PASS that can only be used in the buttcrack of dawn or 6-8:30pm. You can't come in for open swim, you have to pay extra. WHO DOES THAT?? WHY WOULD THAT MAKE SENSE? I JUST PAID $30 TO SWIM!

Yes, this was my demeanor, and I was nicely and promptly escorted from the pool premises and didn't get to swim. :) Yup. I lost it. I had to. I know it's probably not their fault, but seriously... I just paid you $30 for a lap swim pass and you want to charge me to enter to swim, again? Really? I love Harlem, but it's inefficiency kills me.

I also miss my hubs, he's been gone for a week and I feel lonelier than ever in NYC. :( He's learning so many amazing things and I know he's going to come back refreshed and feeling alive to start working on his life mission... whatever that might be upon his return. lol :)

Anyways... 10 more days, I will keep pushing on. I know this will be my greatest battle and I have no plans on coming back this way again. :) Good luck to the rest of the bar takers. Give it hell.

Today sucked. But it was worth it.

We had our first practice test for Barbri-- 8 hours of madness.

I survived, I never panicked (except for lunchtime) and all is well.

The place is huge, but I am glad I received the opportunity to see it before test day. It's the convention center and it's not horrible. It is freezing and I will need my earplugs, but I figured that much anyway.

Bad news is that I didn't do as well as I wanted to. 78/200. But that's ok, I received a 4/5 on my essays. Yes! I know EXACTLY why I didn't do well on the Multistate portion (78/200) and I have 22 days to correct it. All is well and I feel good.

I doubted myself a little, and I worried about myself. I took a teenie study break this weekend and slept in, went to the beach and ate amazing food. But I think it's exactly what I needed and I am no longer scared.

Bring it on.

Now to sleep.