I've made it to week 3 of the bar, and I think everything is going well, at least for now. I'm hoping that by next week the Colorado Unemployment office corrects their mistake on my last paycheck... a whopping $140.00, and provides me with the backpay that they forgot from my last check. If you want to know how you can spend 91 minutes of your day, try calling the unemployment hotline in Denver. It's fantastic, they make you wait 91 minutes, then they hang up on you, you call back and all you can use is a self-help call center, then you try a different line (which they recommend) and that number actually doesn't function. Ah yes, it's our tax payer dollars at work.
It's incredibly hot right now in NYC, we hit 95 degrees today and I thought I was going to pass out. If you want to know what that feels like, punch a hole in a large black plastic trash bag so that your head fits through it, then enter a sauna and wait. That's what it feel like. You sweat everywhere and the smell of the trash on the street heating up in my neighborhood is pretty disgusting. I played leap frog today as I went from one store to another, just to cool off and get out of the heat!
This week is a bit more intense with bar prep, and it's all starting to come together a little bit more as to how different areas of law are going to interact. It's daunting to think that I need to try and remember these things, but at the same time, I try to incorporate my notes, lectures and what I am learning every day so that I don't forget it.
My lovely friends in Denver and California both sent me a great book that I use everyday and I find it calming and it allows me to focus. Just when I feel overwhelmed and stressed to the point where I want to punch myself in the face for going to law school, I remember why I went in the first place and read a passage from this book. My friend in NYC believes it's "very Colorado" of me.
Yesterday was a particularly overwhelming day because I missed a lecture (from not sleeping the night before) and because I couldn't seem to get myself together. I was so tired and just couldn't function. I watched the lecture I missed, took my notes, then meditated and did some yoga to clear my mind. I ended up going to bed early and not studying anymore because I was too frustrated, and honestly, just too tired to even concentrate.
Today was a better day, I was still tired, but at least I was determined and eager to get started on my studying. I actually really enjoy studying. I like being by myself in my element preparing for this challenge. Anyway, after class I had to go to Governors Island to drop off my keys and some documents and during class I had made note cards to memorize the law from today's lecture. If I know I have to commute, I take my flash cards so that I am constantly studying. Well, when I got on the train, it was packed and there was no where to sit. I stood for about two stops, then finally a space opened up and I sat down.
I sat down to this larger, African American woman who had a really nice designer handbag. I specifically remember her handbag because I stared at it when I got on because I was trying to see who the designer was. (Dianne Von Furstenburg-- I think) Anyway, I sat there focusing on memorizing the rules for Agency and I could tell this woman was staring at me and my notes and I thought, "what a metiche!" She then tapped my shoulder (because my eyes were closed) and she asked if I was a law student. I told her I was and was preparing for the bar. She said, "Yes I can tell. I can see you studying. If I can make one suggestion, I'd like to remind you that this is just an exam. On days that you want to quit, remember why you are doing this in the first place and be calm. You know yourself better than anyone else, trust yourself because you can do this." I thanked her with a big cheesy smile and I found out that she is an attorney. She passed the NY Bar in 2006 on her first try. She told me she only studied for 5 hours a day, but that was because she was intense for 5 hours and then practiced. She gave me some great advice, and more than anything, she reminded me to know myself and trust myself as I go through this process because it is just a test. She said the NY Bar isn't as difficult as they say it is, it's a matter of keeping calm and carrying on, and knowing the law as best as I can.
Before I could ask her for her card, she was up on off on the next stop. For some reason, she calmed me down and made me feel good about this process. So, with that conversation, I am literally staying calm and carrying on as best as I can. Everyday I work hard (except yesterday), and I know that somedays will be better than others. I am ok with that.
I hope you are all having a great week! Summer is here!
xo-
Jaz
