Today was an interesting day. It started out with me eating fried rice for breakfast and for dinner. Nice. I didn't go to work because I had committed to volunteering with my friend Elena at a DPS 8th grade chaotic career and school fair. I originally said yes because I thought we were going to be on a panel about being in law school or being lawyers, but nope. It was a giant free for all with all of the DPS 8th graders present. I could feel and smell the awkwardness of 8th grade! My experience today was exactly like it was when I worked for College in Colorado. Not that I didn't love it, and actually at first I thought I missed it, but as the day progressed and as these kids cared less and less about their future, I lost patience and hope and had to rethink things.
I don't know what it was about us but when we would ask kids, "So, you want to be a lawyer?" Some literally took off running! Actually, a lot of kids did that. I wondered if it was because we were the only graduate program there and the thought of going to college for 7-8 years was not appealing to a 12 year old. I mean, they are 8th graders! They still have to go through 4 years of high school and then 4-5 years of college, heck maybe even 8 years of college, THEN they might go to law school. So in a way I can't blame them for running away from me like that. It got to the point where I would tell students "This is the LAW SCHOOL table, if you are looking for DU campus, they are to the left. Do you want to be a lawyer?" Then the reply was no and they'd run off to go look at the Rockies table.
I do miss working with kids and engaging them to do the very best they can do and to reach for their dreams, but I got discouraged with some of them because they just don't care. How do you make them care? How do we make education relevant and how do we inspire them? There was one boy who kept trying to pick a fight with anyone he ran into. I quickly climbed over the table to stop his bullying and tried to break up his little group of micro-villains. I saw him walk away as he persistently tried to pick more fights. I couldn't help but wonder what this poor lil guy was going through at home and in his personal life and at that moment I just wanted to hug him and follow him and tell him that I cared about what he did and his future. I knew that was unrealistic as he would probably yell "Stranger Danger" as I hugged him and cried for his salvation.
I suppose in a way I realized that I miss working with youth, but it has to be in a different capacity. I left thinking of how I could bridge my legal training and my passion for youth. I'm researching programs and I'll see what I can come up with, but I plan to do it. Watch and see.
I came home and decided to go for a bike ride as I visited a friend at UCD. Today was absolutely beautiful in Colorado and I know that soon the snow will hit and my Bianchi and I will not be able to ride for awhile. Plus, the anxiety of finding out about Mando's position is driving me absolutely nuts. My Bianchi relaxes me. (As a sidenote, if you don't know about Coloradoans and their bicycles, you should probably learn now that they are like pets to us. Sometimes, as in my case, they are worth more than my car. Plus you can't get parking tickets on your bike!!!! grrr)
So off I went on a nice afternoon autumn ride. I rode to where the Cherry Creek meets the Platte River and decided to watch a group of little boys swim, but not in like a dirty old man kind of way. I stopped because:
- I wanted to tell them not to swallow the water due to the high levels of ecoli;
- I thought one of them might hit their head and float down the river and then I'd have to jump in and save him; and
- I just enjoyed their freedom and joy.
After they left, I decided this would be a perfect time to try and meditate and release more good energy into the universe and to tell my brain to shutup. I put on my pandora Deepak Chopra mediation music and BAM! I started to calm my mind. I told it nicely to shutup, breathe and to let the universe have its way. I think my mind stayed quiet for about 3 minutes, then a bug slammed straight first into my mouth as I exhaled. I coughed, swallowed the stupid bug and tried again. This time I stayed still for about 4 minutes. Then my butt hurt from the hard rock I was sitting on. I readjusted and tried again. Success, 6 minutes without moving or talking. Then I got cold and decided to head back. Before I got up, I stretched a little, rocked my head back and forth and sat there watching the water go by and watched as people strolled by and stopped to check out the creek. I stood up feeling relaxed and calm and proud of myself for semi-meditating.
I got on my bike, clipped my left peddle in and started to ride. My dumb ass forgets to shift up so that I can start at a lighter shift, and it was still on a lower shift from the way in. I tried to get my right foot to clip in and just when I thought I had it in, I stood up to gain speed and WHAP! My right foot slipped and I hit straight down on my ballgina!! Holy hell that hurt!! At that point, I could forget about any meditation and relaxation because I was so mad and in so much pain, that I forgot about all the wonderfulness I had just experienced. I cursed at my Bianchi and my stupid right peddle and the stupid shift and my stupid ballgina and the world really. Goodbye positive energy and hello angry ballgina rant!
I pulled myself together as I was in a busy bicycle intersection and it was almost 5pm which meant that the bike traffic was about to begin. So again, I had to pick up my pride and ride home with an ache. I was also mad that I got home so late but given the situation, I'm glad I made it home at all.
In retrospect, it was a good and beautiful day. Aside from the ballgina incident, I started thinking of how to engage youth into the legal profession without having them be scared of us. Plus we need more underrepresented students in law school. I volunteer with DU Law because I want them to see that there are brown caramel faces in law school and that they will be supported. Hopefully those 8 kids who wanted to be lawyers felt more compelled and excited to become attorneys some days. I would tell them "I can't wait to see you at the law school!" I hope they believed me. ;)
