This is my amazing family. Crazy as they may be, they are mine.
One of the most difficult aspects of making this "potential" move to NYC is our families. We love them so much, and leaving them hurts our hearts more than they know. But we know that it is a move that we need to try and make now. We don't own a house or children, just a beautiful dog that stays with his grandparents.
I blame them for wanting to move to NYC. Damn you for raising such ambitious children who want to go change the world and who don't have the willpower to give up on their dreams! Damn you for instilling a tenacity to achieve and succeed and make you proud! :)
Our families are everything to us and they are our anchors that hold us down when everything gets crazy. My two mothers (my mom and mando's mom) are my best friends. I talk to them about everything. My littlest sister is 4, and moving makes me sad and nervous that I will miss her growing up. I feel that I am a vital part of her life and she is a vital part of mine and she reminds me to let go of the mundane everyday adult world and play, explore, live, giggle and love. She's my muffin.
I am also going to miss out on my nephew growing up and my sister being a beautiful mama. That makes my heart hurt too and sometimes I have to wonder if we are being selfish in all of this. I think it is one of the reasons I get anxiety, because I've never been away from them. I've always been here and I've always been the rock in my family. I don't know what life would be like without them and it scares me.Another issue is that eventually I am going to have kids and I want my babies to be around their family especially their abuelitos. I know mando's parents can't wait to be abuelitos and I feel guilty that we still don't have grandchildren for them. I also feel sad that if we do have kiddos out in NYC they will have to pay to fly out and visit and they won't be around them 24-7 like I envisioned.
I have to wonder if other mujeres face this problem or if other young latino professionals have to chose between a career and familia. I know mando's parents had to go through it when they decided to leave Tucson for Denver. They came years ago, and never returned. That is their for us, that we will never return. I know for a fact that will not happen to us because I couldn't raise kids or live in such a gigantic city forever. It's hard, I hope to balance both in this lifetime and I've met amazing latina attorneys this weekend that proved to me that it is possible.
I want to be successful in my career and make a difference in the lives of others. That is why I went to law school and that is a passion that my families have instilled in me. So I must balance both and stay true to my dreams and values.
Damn you for raising such a warrior. I blame that part on my beautiful grandmother because every endeavor I take on, I think of her telling me, "A toda madre mija!"
So here's to our families for raising such overachieving nerds. I love you so much.
Can't forget my Melinuska. :)At some point, I will have to post about my friends, because they are my family too, and the thought of leaving my wolf pack and my pajea besties hurts me to my core. That's for later, I can only handle one emotional night at a time.
p.s. I told my dad about moving to NYC and he said exactly what I thought he would, "Que Chido!" love you dad and good luck running the Chicago Marathon. You are crazy and amazing and i love you.
